help

nlf18 · 02-15-2009, 05:17 PM

my boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over two years now, but this year he went off to college, and being a year younger than him I'm still living at home, amd in high school. At first the long distance relationship thing wasn't that hard. But he's started changing, and not in a good way. He has dropped out of all the activities and groups that he joined at the beginning of the year, he hasn't made any friends, except for his room mate. He's doing really bad in all of his classes, and I'm really worried about him. I went up to see him at college, and I tried to talk some sense into him, get him to go to class, and rejoin clubs, and find some new friends. But I also know that he has to make these changes himself. I love who he used to be, and I know that he's still that person on the inside. The problem is that being his girlfriend is getting harder and harder, because I feel like I've become his mother, telling him to go to class, and leave his dorm room everyonce in a while. Now I'm considering breaking up with him, because I don't think that I can take that much more of this, and lets face it I lost my boyfriend months ago, but now he needs me more than ever. what would you do if you were me:confused:?

**Justin** · 02-15-2009, 06:19 PM

stay with him.

**DaviD** · 02-15-2009, 07:32 PM

you've been with him for over 2 years now
i'm pretty sure you love him and that he loves you
he is going through a rough time and needs you now more than ever
think of this as a test of your relationship with him
if you guys can get through this, you guys can get through anything
i say stick with him a little longer to see if you can help him
but if he ain't changing and growing and if he is holding you back from living your life and doing what you need to do for yourself
then leave him

**Brandy** · 02-15-2009, 07:57 PM

Ok I'm on my blackberry so bear with me if this is mispelt. Anyways. Last thing guys want is a nagging girlfriend, that's what their mom is there for. To tell them what to do and what not to do. He's also probably taking it hard also, he had to leave you...and all he had behind to go to college. The best thing you can do right now is support him. Just let him know you're there for him when he needs you.

Bumfluff · 02-16-2009, 05:28 PM

yep, what brandy said.. you just got to be there to support him, and if it does get too much for you, imo leave. I know it must be excruciatingly hard to think about leaving him for real, but you have to draw the line somewhere.. or else he'll drag you down with him, you gotta think about yourself too..

ebony15 · 02-18-2009, 06:20 AM

stick with him even if it gets tougher..
thats life my friend..

as a girlfriend show to him that you'll be their for him..through happiness and help sort out problems that you will encounter tgether as a couple..

there is no such relationship thats perfect..

You can appreciate a relationship that has ups and downs ~ thats how your relationship becomes stronger..
the more you know about each other...thats how you accept each other ..
work on your weaknesses and strengths..
but dont give up on him bcuz your tired..

Karl · 02-18-2009, 06:51 AM

I like this saying... "if you can't handle me when I'm at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best"

Stick with him :)

LiamMontana · 02-18-2009, 09:54 AM

Its amazing how college in america and in the uk are so much different.

nguyen89 · 02-20-2009, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaaarl2121

I like this saying... "if you can't handle me when I'm at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best"

Stick with him :)

i agree with that
(:

Gothir · 02-20-2009, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by s1eepyboy

stay with him.

Give an explenation mate, it makes things worse otherwise.

Tell him you want to take a break, and that he needs to help himself sort his life out, when things get better (if they do), try again!
If they don't, consider it a practise and try not to maul yourself over it.

x

Foxygamers · 04-27-2009, 07:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Karl

I like this saying... "if you can't handle me when I'm at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best"

Stick with him :)

I agree with this aswell.

Kinesic · 04-27-2009, 07:57 AM

I say to stick with him..
And maybe not nag him so much, just nag him once, then try to subtley persuade him to do stuff? XD

There's one or two things on this though;
He either needs you.
Or you're holding him back.

TheLittleHippy. · 04-27-2009, 03:48 PM

If it was you in his shoes would you want him to stick by you?

Haylee Dawn · 09-17-2009, 05:31 PM

I have been in the same situation. I have been with my boyfriend for three years. I went to school with him until he graduated, leaving me with one more year. The long distance thing is hard, I know, and they will change at least a little.
You need to stay with him. He is obviously not adjusting well to his new environment, He needs you now more than ever. Let him know that you love him and that you are always here for him when he needs to talk.
Hope for the best. :)

Charz777 · 10-05-2009, 09:23 AM

I agree with Brandy. Stick this out, he may come around, or he may need you to help him. Either way, you love each other and you don't want to lose what you have if he's just in a phase. If things don't improve in say a couple of months or things get worse, then rethink the situation :)