Boyfriend of two months versus best friend of two years?

Maija · 04-13-2009, 07:09 PM

My best friend of two years has been dating a boy for two months. We live up in Michigan, and this boy lives in Texas. My best friend does not know this boy, they talk over the internet. She has no idea what he looks like. They have been talking for about four or five months, but have only been dating for two.
She's always been talking about how much she'd love to go move down to Texas to be with this boy, & how she'd kill to be able to see him in real life. I understand if she wants to go down & meet him, I mean, by all means, go ahead. But she's telling me that if some opportunity came up that she could move to Texas to be with him, she would take it.
Meaning, she would leave behind not only me, her best friend of two years, but all of her other friends, family, etc. She would ditch everybody she knows & loves for her boyfriend of two months that she doesn't even know in person.

I, personally, find this really offending & hurtful. I don't mean to be selfish, but I can not believe she feels this way. If she had been dating this boy for, let's say, a year, I could understand. But two months of a relationship with somebody you know over the Internet does not seem to compare to your best friend of two years, plus everybody else...

Am I overreacting with being hurt by this, or do I really have a point here? Is there anything I can do?

Reverence · 04-13-2009, 07:11 PM

You have a point. I can't really say its lust because she hasnt seen em but it is over obsession. Shes really happy, maybe this guy promised her something iono,.

Maija · 04-13-2009, 07:18 PM

I forgot to mention that this girl is only fourteen years old, & it's her first relationship.

Reverence · 04-13-2009, 07:23 PM

Yea no wonder. Shes probably really excited about her first relationship and stuff and is willing to do anything

**Justin** · 04-13-2009, 07:31 PM

cosign with Alex
her bf is prolly a pedo anyway

nattikur · 04-18-2009, 04:40 AM

First relationships are always blown up. You may not even like the guy to start with but as soon as you're dating it's all "I love the guy" and "I would kill for him". It's not nessacarily true, but it's how she thinks a girlfriend should act, so she acts like that. They're probably not true, though, so when she says she'd move for him, if it actually came down to it she probably wouldn't. Don't worry, she's just blowing things up bigtime.

Mike · 04-19-2009, 03:06 AM

these things fizzle around the 6 month mark or when someone in state takes an interest in one of the people in the relationship... Sounds like you have issues with how your friends treating you atm tho...

Zevzek · 04-19-2009, 04:27 PM

I'm loyal person by nature so i think that the two year best friend relationship should be more important than some e-flick thingy.

Foxygamers · 04-27-2009, 07:14 AM

Shes just obsested with him for now... Its like a new toy, Things will die down in the future. Look at pokemon cards. They never lasted but almost everyone loved them.

Kinesic · 04-27-2009, 07:30 AM

I don't think it's unreasonable for her to want to leave you, no.
Cause you'll always be best friends, hopefully, right? You can keep in touch and stuff.
But it sounds like she's just being stupid about the guy over-all.
She doesn't even have a picture of him?
I find that odd.

If I were you I'd be more worried about her being manipulated by some creepy guy.

lyian1423 · 05-01-2009, 04:45 AM

I would have to go with your friend.
A true friend takes a lifetime to find but a boyfriend will always be out there waiting for you.
If things didn't workout with you and your boyfriend, mayber this is not yet the right time for the two of you.
But if you're really meant to be then love will find a way.
Don't sacrifice your friend for a guy
------------------------
Hot Way to Walk

heroineautumn · 05-01-2009, 07:00 AM

^ She's talking about her friend
who has the boyfriend. She's not the
one with the boyfriend.

But I agree with everyone. Tell her how
slightly unreasonable she's being. As much
as she may "love" him at this point, she's
never seen him, nor does she have an inkling
of what he looks like. What if he doesn't meet
her expectations? She's going to have left
behind everyone that loves her and her most
valuable relationships. I think that really long
distance, out of state relationships should be
kept to adults. I mean, I see long distance, same
state for teenagers, but out of state? That's
slightly too steep. I've had experience with
out of state relationships, not for me, but with
my friend. She had a boyfriend who lived in New Mexico,
and we live in Massachusetts. So it was an entire
country away basically, and he lied about his
looks, sent her fake pictures, etc. When he
finally showed her who he was, everything changed.
They always had fights and stuff, but like...
It just got worse and worse because they
had been dating for like six months by now.
But really, it's not worth moving to Texas for
someone you've never met. I really hope that
she realizes this sooner or later, because the
relationship will fizzle out, whether she
wants it or not. To keep a relationship, you have
to have a physical attraction to your partner, and
be able to have a physical connection. Relationships
are never just mental and spiritual, there has to
be a physical part, and by physical I don't mean
like kissing, sex, etc. I mean like, you have to have
a physical connection, sight, smell, touch, etc.

Binxers · 08-22-2009, 11:17 PM

She's stupid.
she has no identification of the guy,
no experience in relationships,
and pretty much no love for you if she's choosing a "stranger" over you?

Disenchanted · 08-23-2009, 12:44 AM

She obviously at the weird stage of the relationship where she wants to be with and talk to him all the time, except for the fact that she s can't... I'm sure she should get over it, it's stupid to date someone you;ve never met if you ask me. For all we know that person could be some weirdo talking to her to make fun and laugh, I'd advise her to break it off but w/e.